Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I bet he comes in French.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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