I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
