hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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