We're facebook friends in real life
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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