I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
