OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
