My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
