Betty ford says i'm here all night
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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