He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Sober January is a disaster.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
