You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
