If i come over, it means nothing
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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