dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
