bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
