im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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