By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
