We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
