You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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