I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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