If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
