I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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