I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
