If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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