Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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