O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long