If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.