You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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