you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
