I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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