do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize
