My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
