I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We smell like vodka and hangover
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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