i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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