well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
