You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
