did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
