I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
