physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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