i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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