Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
