If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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