ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
