Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
