Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
