guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
