god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
