I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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