we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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