I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
