is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
