i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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