The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
