I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
