oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
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You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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