So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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