he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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