Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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